You know that here at C&C we love a naughty viral, but considering the name of our blog, we found this NSFW clip especially fitting. Although he’s doing a little more than talking about that cock. Next time we’re at a house party, and someone asks what we want to drink, and we say “surprise me!” perhaps, we’ll get this.
Wait for it…
Thanks, Steve.
This isn’t the first time that Alan Carr has nailed a “celeb-a-like” shoot with Heat Magazine. remember when he hilariously replicated Gaga in the Telephone video? Well the comedian is back for another parody and this time joined by rib-busting buddy David Walliams. The pair stripped off and hopped on a paddleboard to mimic the front page headlines from earlier this year that saw Orlando Bloom fully naked, accompanied by girlfriend Katy Perry.
Keith Lemon also did his best Bridget Jones:
Following a new survey, health drink company ProWater has revealed what the perfect man and female look like. The survey, which asked 1,200 participants to name celebrities with the body parts/looks they admire, (in 14 categories for women, and 13 for men). So who do men wanna look like the most?
Who’s parts are they?! Well, here’s the full list of features:
Eyes: Chris Pine – 44% (Runner up: Jake Gyllenhaal – 31%)
Nose: Chris Pratt – 29% (Runner up: Ben Affleck – 21%)
Lips: Tom Hardy – 68% (Runner up: Idris Elba – 54%)
Beard: Jason Momoa – 37% (Runner up: Bradley Cooper – 22%)
Teeth: George Clooney – 55% (Runner up: Will Smith – 32%)
Jawline: Zac Efron – 26% (Runner up: Henry Cavill – 18%)
Hair: David Beckham – 38% (Runner up: Kit Harrington – 27%)
Arms: Chris Hemsworth – 22% (Runner up: Hugh Jackman – 16%)
Abs: Joe Manganiello – 47% (Runner up: David Gandy – 41%)
Chest: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson – 63% (Runner up: Zac Efron – 27%)
Bottom: Aidan Turner – 49% (Runner up: Michael Fassbender – 37%)
Legs: Gareth Bale – 36% (Runner up: Sir Chris Hoy – 27%)
Personality: Ryan Reynolds – 28% (Runner up: Chris Pratt – 17%)
Some interesting results, although we can’t say that we’re onboard with this man’s fashion… If someone had asked us what part of Zac Efron we want, we’d have said the dick. Oh, that’s not how it works? Ok. Also worth noting is that there’s no comment regarding the participant’s sexuality, and so a lot of these desires come from straight men.
But would you wanna look like him?!
Richard Baister, COO of ProWater expressed: “Attitudes are constantly changing when it comes to the ‘perfect’ body. It’s great to see athletes as well as celebrities in the lists – showing people are keen to be strong and not just skinny”. ProWater has 20g of protein and is only 90 calories. With stats like those, who needs actual water?
“Is your butt a crudely built bird house?” Then why are you sanding it with toilet paper? Enter: Dude Wipes, the intimate “dude-sized” towelette to smoothly keep your bot in tip-top condition.
Although the product is marketed by straight men, we think there’s a huge gay market for them. So next time you’re heading back to a guys place and are feeling a little uneasy about, how can we put this delicately, giving him the shit end of the stick – pop into the bathroom and get out your douche rags. OK, so it may not be a DIY colonic with your shower head, but it’s better than nothing. And they’re flushable too!
But their portability isn’t the only pitch: “Don’t be a dick to your ass.” Research has shown that all that rough wiping, leaves your dangling out your hoop like an oven glove. J/k.
The wipes are made with aloe and Vitamin E and some of the proceeds go to colon cancer charities.
[H/t: NNN]
It’s been a busy month (re: nudes) for the rugby and football players of Argentina, and Domingo Miotti is the latest sportsman to land on the list. The 20 year-old, who has been playing for the World Rugby U20 Championship (assuming that means more to you than it does us), is reportedly ready to enter the National team. Well, he looks equipped enough if you ask us.
The fly-half, who towers at 6’2″, allegedly sent the snaps via the social media app. What’s your snapcode btw? *Giggle*.
And looks like he’s carrying a whole lotta milkshake too…
The shower is the place where most of us sing, but we’re old as fuck and this 2016 so now the kids twerk in the shower. Girl, that is dangerous. But my twerk so rigorous, I wouldn’t even attempt it on a wet surface. You can’t half commit to that. But this boy has managed it, and he is serving breakfast, as in literally – you can see it! Much to the amusement of his flatmate…
[h/t: GetListy]
We don’t know the first thing about BMX racing, but ooh child! Forget the bike, he can ride us any day. With looks and a bod like that it’s easy to see how Will Grant is an athlete one day, and bagging the cover of DNA (in his very skimpy speedos) the next. Thanks to these nekked snaps popping up online, now we have a new instagram crush, and an interest in BMX racing (or not…). Grant has evolved from a fresh-faced twink, through inked muscle Mary to borderline bear, and we don’t even know if it’s gay.
He may only be 5’8″, but looks like he ain’t short in the trouser department.
Alex Mytton – arguably the handsomest chap on Made In Chelsea (though we can’t honestly say we’ve ever made through an entire episode) – has stripped down to his pants for Reveal Magazine. We may have been on the Naughty list this year, but looks like we’re not getting a lump of coal.
Y’all must be reading this post like, did I come here for underwear shots? Nah, we got you. That time his girlfriend “accidentally” uploaded his penis-bomb to Instagram, is a much better present…
Or that time he accidentally flashed his pubes on the show’s season pilot:
We’re clumsy, but those accidents are much more appreciated.
Jake Gyllenhaal celebrates his 36th birthday today, so in light of that, we’re reminiscing all the times Gyllenhaal has proved his worth in the Hall of Fame (of our wank bank). Tom Ford once named a lipstick after him, claiming “every woman should have a little Jake on their lips”. AHEM. Why gotta be women tho? Needless to say, we see where his pitch comes from… Welcome to our Jake Gyllenhaal appreciation post, from top to bottom toe.
Gyllenhall doesn’t get his kit off loads for editorial (that’s our first request, right there), but thankfully he bares stays dressed on the big screen.
“URGH, just move your hand Jake”… What, you say, girl? Oh, wait we heard you…
These ones will surely get you in the Christmas mood. THAT’S our kinda Santa… Can we sit on your lap?
Remember when these scenes gave us hope? ‘Cause, you know, if he’ll fuck Anne Hathaway, then he’s definitely bisexual at least.
MORE BOOTY?!
He’s never been shy of that body-ody-ody though…
And let us not forget his epic portrayal in the heartbreaking love story that touched every gay man… *SOBS*
And that lip-lick…
MHMM, we’d show him how to pitch a tent in the desert, tho.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and that certainly looks true in the Noriega residence. In fact, you’d probably be full all day if that was your morning meal. The hunky Peruvian chef who’s been going for his mouth-watering food tutorials, knows exactly how to get his fans out of bed in the morning. Franco Noriega also recently flaunted his goods for Adon magazine.
Check out the cheeky footage from his Insta-story below. Looks like the sun isn’t the only thing rising…
And it looks like mornings are always eventful for Franco…
Franco Noriega is making news and blog headlines internationally for his appetising tutorials on social media which see him turning up the heat in the kitchen. And the oven’s not even on. While Noriega is clearly comfortable in his naked form, he’s also worked as an underwear model. So we’ve dug up these shots of him by Joseph Lally, when he ditched the pants – and posed alongside a pair of fresh-faced models.
He looks like he’s just been used by every top at the orgy and is now collecting using his short shorts to cover his modesty while he dwells on his poor life choices. In a hot way, though.
Last year, Dr. Jane Ward discussed Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, her book and notion that two straight-identifying men can engage in sexual encounters with one another, without surrendering their preferred label. And though, even we must admit we were impressed with the play on words, it seems that ‘dude sex’ doesn’t quite have the same effect.
You know what they say, it’s not gay if you claim “no homo, bro”. Nethertheless, Tony Silva continues to talk about similar ideals in his paper Bud-Sex: Constructing Normative Masculinity among Rural Straight Men That Have Sex With Men. According to Silva, “dude sex” occurs when two caucasian rural straight-identifying men tell their wives and children they have to work late at the office, but are actually getting balls deep in another down-low homo. Their ability to compartmentalize sex, means that it’s just that, and that’s why they still identify as straight.
He spoke to 19 participants, all straight-identifying, all caucasian and rural and all that give a mean blowie when “helping a bud out”. He scouted them from political congress. Jokes, it was Craigslist. And they all emerged from socially conservative, caucasian states: which questions whether they’re “compartmentalizing” is really just a fancy term for denial.
Many of the guys claimed it was a way of experimenting, or relieving “urges” (erm, where’s yo’ wife at cadet?) and satisfying curiosities without experiencing a sexual attraction for the other person (hint: man) involved. So do they do the same things with their wives and girlfriends? Or perhaps it’s like how you can still get hard even when you’re having ugly sex? Albeit they’re usually still have the same genitals when that happens.
Silva claims that dude sex guides their “thoughts, tastes, and practices. It provides them with their fundamental sense of self; it structures how they understand the world around them; and it influences how they codify sameness and difference.”
In layman’s terms: They get to experiment sexually, but cling onto their “straight” tag, because after experimenting, then decide that it’s not for them. But what about the ones who go back for second helpings? Do they hold onto their heterosexual label until they it becomes more acceptable in their social and biological upbringing and then come out of the closet? Doubt it.
Silva states that a “key element in bud-sex” was that the men were looking for similar partners: white, rural, married, etc. “Partnering with other men similarly privileged on several intersecting axes—gender, race, and sexual identity—allowed the participants to normalize and authenticate their sexual experiences as normatively masculine.”
By hooking up with guys similar to them, Silva noted, many of the men didn’t feel their heterosexual identities were threatened. But having sex with a gay man somehow made them feel more gay. In fact, a handful of subjects said they were turned off by “effeminate faggot type[s]” or “flamin’ queers” who were “too flamboyant.”
“If I wanted someone that acts girlish, I got a wife at home,” one subject said. Bleak. That tone sounds a lot like fear. Babe just ’cause you got a beard making you meatloaf every night, and your side-dick keeps his limp-wrist in check, doesn’t mean you’re not a “flaming queer” as well.
Another states: “A guy that I would consider more like me, that gets blowjobs from guys every once in a while, doesn’t do it every day,” another subject said. “They’re manly guys, and doing manly stuff, and just happen to have oral sex with men every once in a while. So, that’s why I kinda prefer those types of guys.”
“And bi guys, the same way. We can talk about women, there [have] been times where we’ve watched hetero porn, before we got started or whatever, so I kinda prefer that.” They also claim to be inclined to opt for dude sex and bro-jobs because they knew the other guy wouldn’t get attached, whereas the gay guy be declaring their love in the local newspaper.
Part of the appeal was the friendship between the two guys… “We talk for an hour or so, over coffee,” one guy said. “Then we’ll go get a blowjob and then part our ways.”
“I go on road trips, drink beer, go down to the city [to] look at chicks, go out and eat, shoot pool, I got one friend I hike with,” another guy explained. “It normally leads to sex, but we go out and do activities other than we meet and suck.”
“If my wife’s gone for a weekend,” a third guy said, “I’ll go to his place and spend a night or two with him … We obviously do things other than sex, so, yeah, we go to dinner, go out and go shopping, stuff like that.”
Erm, that’s a relationship girl.
[H/t: Queerty]
We’re always gonna be fans of that clowny cunt Bianca Del Rio, but it looks like she might rack up a few enemies after her list of people that need to do better in 2017. In a segment from Not Today Bianca, Del Rio uses her acidic tongue and scathing wit to call out the assholes and douchebags of 2016 – and we whole-heartedly agree.
“And if they can’t do better, let’s hope they die!” But you left out Stacey Dash’s career… Oh, wait…
TV Show – starring and produced by Spencer Neville – may not be doing amazingly with critics so far, but we guarantee them buns are getting 5-star reviews. One user IMDB user writes: “If you have a jar a Vaseline and an addiction to soft core porn, enjoy it.”
Yeah, so we guess it’s pretty good, no? After a number of non-breaking roles, including Days of Our Lives, could Neville use his booty to ‘crack’ into the industry? We’d buy a ticket to see that on the big screen.
[H/t: Instinct]
As if Eastenders wasn’t guaranteed to shock every week with it’s dramatic storylines, in last night’s episode Sharon could’ve keeled over on the kitchen floor of the Vic and Linda would’ve still be sat there panting like a chubster on a treadmill. But, perhaps she’s not to blame as Danny Dyer waltzed into the kitchen like he was smuggling a melon out of his local supermarket.
“It’s definitely a pair of socks” claimed one Twitter user. Oh no child, you mean you haven’t seen it? CLICKY HERE FOR THE NSFW GOODS.
We're going to take a little while to recover from this.
#EastEnders pic.twitter.com/Xdn5vjtvIV
— BBC EastEnders (@bbceastenders) December 20, 2016
[H/t: Attitude]
We feel like he should be turned into a cartoon. A cement mixer that works day-in day-out on a dreary building site, always told by the other butch construction machinery that he couldn’t amount to nuttin. That little boy trucks don’t do “that glittery stuff”, and then one day after all the other machinery returns to the site after a day of working around the city, and Simon the Cement Mixer is jamming out to Anita Ward.
He could totally be a representative for all the boys pushed into a male-orientated career by their fathers, and then sneaks out to the disco every second Tuesday of the month. Or did we smoke too much, and get way too into this?
One user wrote: “I just feel really happy for the cement mixer” US TOO, CHICA!
The concept, comes from artist Benedetto Buffalino, and the installation was parked in Lyon, France for 3 days, where spectators jammed out to the sparkling lights.
It’s one we’ve seen a few times on our feeds, but you know what? It just never gets old. We can’t imagine why.
“Jonny is gonna give him a dollar to deepthroat that banana…” – it certainly sounds like the start of a porno. And we have no idea who became the most popular cadet that year, but it certainly didn’t look like it his first time… You ain’t fooling us with that little wince, like you couldn’t do it in yo sleep. All we wanna know is where is the footage that followed.
You know, where the dom top of the squad goes “Yeah, let’s see if you can do the same with this…” *Queue awful German music*
[H/t: GetListy]
Between Alex Bowen’s nude leak and these two sitting naked on a sleigh together, we’re thinking we might have to actually watch Love Island next year. Tom Powell and Rykard Jenkins flashed their packages and stripped off for a British mag. Standardly basic, but those butts are worth an ogle. How pissed would you be though if the assistant handed you a package that much smaller, I’d be like ‘are you mugging me off, mate?’ *Throws present at her* No wonder he looks like he’s not impressed.
Call us when you’re emptying your sacks, boys.
This isn’t the first time, a professional fighter has given viewers more than they bargained for during a weigh-in. And hopefully it won’t be the last. And actually, if we’re not mistaken, you weigh even less with both hands above you head. Ruzicka has that typical ‘rough sex with a Russian scally in a dark car park’ look about him, and with these snaps the fantasy is that much more imaginable.
DING! DONG! DING!
We saw a few impressive mannequin challenges over the course of the trend, notably the one that took place in the rugby player’s showers, but if you thought that was as stiff as the competition came, you’d be wrong honey. And how did we miss this? The video comes from porn stars Ryan Rose and Austin Carter on set, it must’ve been *hard* to stay stay like that for a while…
#MannequinChallenge @RyanRoseXXX & #AustinCarter @MrDimarco #GayPornMannequinChallengue pic.twitter.com/W720TWeYWG
— WreckemRyan (@KingRyanRoseXXX) December 9, 2016
[H/t: The Sword]
